Now I have three different medications: Lexapro, Abilify and Depakote. Thye Lexapro for depression, Abilify for psychotic symptoms, and the Depakote a mood stabilizer which is supposed to even out my manic and depressive phases.
Because I work at night, I have to take the Depakote, which makes me sleepy, during the day. After school before I sleep, I take one for a week, at 500 mg, then two after the first week, at 1000 mg total. Sheesh. After I get off work at noon on weekends, I take them all at once. I take the Abilify and Lexapro in the mornings before school on weekdays. Crazy schedule.
I feel like I'm reciting a grocery list or something.
I'm restless and and fidgety and tense as hell. I thought the Depakote was supposed to even me out...
The worst side effect I fear is loss of my creative tendencies and my imaginitive capabilities...namely, writing. I love to write and here I am becoming a catatonic on these meds.
I feel strange, weird, blank...
Right now it's hard to think. I wonder how to function on this and do school and work my schedule....
I was manic in my therapist's office Friday before I started the Depakote. I fidgeted constantly, spoke rapid fire sentences at a mile a minute and even got up to pace around, talking as each random thought came to mind, and fiddled with things in his office, like the model ship located on the bookshelf.
"You're manic right now," he says. "Definitely more hyper than previous visits I've had with you. Are you going to take your meds when you get home, the Depakote?"
I agree hastily and suddenly I have to leave. I have things to do, projects for school, cigarettes to buy, things to do, I can do anything...
I did do things. Then I took the Depakote and I was staring at my walls and ceiling for God knows how long before I fell asleep. At least I was able to get up and get ready for work that night.
God, what a mess....Oh God help me....
- Mood:
weird
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angelcerv21- angelcerv21
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I didn't like lexapro when I took it, it didn't do much at all. As far as mood stabilizers go, I haven't heard any negative things about Depakote... I'm on Lithium at the moment. I shouldn't say that, though, because I take it too sporadically. I'm on seroquel for sleep/psych symptoms/mood stabilization. My biggest fear was losing my creativity, too, and I actually talked to my psych about it at one point in time. It didn't make me feel less creative, it just made the world seem a little more gray. I wouldn't get as emotional about things, because my perspective on them had changed. I just went through the motions, through the routines. I hated that. I'd rather be crazy than be boring and tired all the time.
its been ages since you've posted, are you doing all right?
The world is certainly looking grey.
I'm going for a psychiatric evaluation at the end of the month. My therapist thinks I may have some sort of mood disorder, and says I have severe depression and extreme anxiety (I got the highest score she had ever gotten for the anxiety test *gasp*).
Even though you may not like being here sometimes I like that you're here because I love your writing. I really hope it all works out well for you and things even out quickly. Looking forward to the next update. <3
I got the highest score on Beck's depression inventory...man, I don't know what to do but at least I'm trying. I have meds now, we'll see how that goes.
I wish you luck on what you and your therapist decide...and hopefully they don't medicate you to the point of zonking you out. That feeling is just miserable.
It is good that you're trying and you went to get help. Hopefuly your system and the medicaiton will get on soon and you'll feel a bit calmer, but not too calm :P
And thanks, I don't think they'll medicate me too much, or at least I hope so. I'm under the age of 18 so they probably can't do too much. We'll see though.
Medication isn't so bad yet. The side effects are not as severe as I was expecting, especially based on the ones I'm taking.
So far, so good. Now we'll see if they actually help me any. I just don't want to lose my creative tendencies.