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I AM ANGEL.





I came back, though I've been gone for months. I felt the need to come back. I felt alone.
I am alone here, except I have my girlfriend. But for me, the internet seems to be where I am best able to make a connection.


I have a history of mental illness, and I'm diagnosed with bipolar disorder and manic depressive disorder. A doctor in my recent past diagnosed me with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder due to the sexual abuse I experienced. (I was kidnapped and held for two months). I have anger problems, and sometimes my anxiety and anger mix, and this has caused me to be arrested, strapped to beds, locked in hospitals...I'm really trying to figure out and control my anger but sometimes it feels like I get nowhere.


I've been put in mental hospitals about five times in my life, sometimes for months at a time. I haven't been to the hospital since we moved here to Washington, and I'm proud of that, though I get nervous too because I wonder...what's going to make me lose it next time?


I enjoy writing (obviously). I enjoy studying. I enjoy thinking. I have lots of questions. Few answers. I am told I am intelligent. I don't feel intelligent. The internet disturbs and intrigues me. Technology's advances frighten me. People frighten me more. I am bothered by the decay of humanity. I am annoyed by red lights and stop signs, there are too many in the world.


I live and work in downtown Spokane. I have an AA degree in psychology I obtained in California, and I'm in school again at the University here! I still work full time too. I was an orphan. My parents left me in a dumpster. I was raised in an orphanage run by a convent of nuns, then it was shut down when I was sixteen and I was thrust into the group home system as a ward of the state. I never lived in foster care, was never adopted. I have a penis and a vagina. I don't choose to take either sex (or gender, which is a different thing) as a label but so others around me feel comfortable, I go through life as a male. I am a hermaphrodite.

You Are a Pundit Blogger!

Your blog is smart, insightful, and always a quality read. Truly appreciated by many, surpassed by only a few

Your Love Type: INTP

The Thinker In love, you are honest and serious about commitment. For you, sex is something you think about and desire a lot of the time. Overall, you are pure in your affection and feelings. However, you tend to be suspicious and distrusting at times. Best matches: ENTJ and ESTJ

You Should Get a PhD in Liberal Arts (like political science, literature, or philosophy)

You're a great thinker and a true philosopher. You'd make a talented professor or writer.

A friend caught me sleeping while we were at the park, just before I began to dream. Please excuse the hair.

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